I havent really done much writing since like, 6 years ago when I was still in college….but you know…whatevs, here goes.
Writing a blog is something I’ve always wanted to do, not necessarily because I wanted to get stuff off of my mind, but mostly for some sort of attention…which EVERYONE who posts stuff online is doing (and if you think you’re one of those people who doesnt post things on Twitter, Facebook, etc hoping for some kind of reaction, YOU’RE A DAMN LIAR!!!) More recently though, I’ve begun to realize that most people I interact with on a semi-regular basis just dont get me. That kind of sucks because then I’m either labeled a douchebag or a anti-social. So the first couple entries I write will be kind of an explanation as to who I am….kinda.
Growing up, I wasnt exactly the most popular kid in school…in fact, from like 3rd grade to 8th grade, I was practically a nobody. I’ve always been an introvert. I guess people at St Vivian’s decided that was nerdy, so of course, I wasnt hanging out with the popular kids. It probably didnt help that I was like the smallest kid in my grade and was awkward as hell. I didnt know how to talk to girls, I didnt know how to talk to anyone more popular than me, and I didnt know how to make friends. I mean, I had friends similar to me, I just always wanted more. I wanted to be somebody. I wanted people to like me….hell, I still do. I’m not really sure why, I mean, I feel like I got plenty of love and attention from my parents, so who the hell knows.
When I turned 18 I moved out and met some friends who liked to go to the club…so for like 2 years straight I went to the club every Friday and Saturday with like 20 of my friends…..guys and girls who were kind of badasses. They were all really good people, they looked out for their friends, didnt break the law, etc. I was the smallest guy in the group, obviously, but they all looked out for me. The girls all thought I was so cute and innocent, so I constantly had that whole approval thing going on. Eventually that all came to end because people fell in love, got real jobs, etc.
The biggest thing that happened back then though is I started working at Papa Johns, which forced me to interact with strangers on a daily basis. I quickly learned how to read people and talk to them. Old lady? Be the nicest kid on the planet. 35 year old mom? Act like I love kids. Old dude in a bar? Treat him like he’s the coolest dude ever.
I’m a douche now. Its how I interact with people. Its an easy way to start a conversation. I’m not much for small talk and I still dont know how to just be friendly with people. I’m sarcastic and dry because thats just me trying to be funny. I dont like to make an ass of myself, so I try to think hard before I say anything. I stumble over my words when I dont have anything interesting to say or when I’m intimidated. I hate it, but I cant change it. I’m only confident when I’m bullshitting with my friends or talking shit.
I’m also watching a movie while I type this….so yeah. Shits probably all over the place….but I dont feel like fixing it.
I plan on blogging about a lot of different stuff….games, sports, my personal life, general observations, my job, coaching, etc. I also take suggestions because ultimately, you people are the ones reading my shit, so whatever you want I guess.